My own house. The big clichéd homeschool mama dream of a house brimming with homegrown tomatoes, chickens laying eggs, towers of books and brightly coloured muraled walls.
Yet not just the house. The church. The healthy church community with knocks at the door with soup on hard days and children climbing trees on the warm days.
I've asked God so many times, why can't I have something so simple. A geographical sedentary white picket fenced life?
Indeed, why has our life had to be so ridiculously contrary to this desire? International moves with suitcases, leaving a trail of donated possessions behind us.
In this time of heart and mind spinning lack of control and stability, as my prayers for the dream bellow, in the peaceful lull, I see the truth.
God knew I would never be satisfied. Because I never am. Life is never enough for my husband and I... We have craved the adventures of new places with places to explore, the hidden gunnels with gems of cafes and the wind of a wild beach, the joy of discovery in new friendships.
If God had given this restless soul a house sooner . I would have scorned it. I would have been trapped.
Our life has come with hardship. This whole seeking the lead of the Holy Spirit and living to follow thing is writhe with exhaustion.
Yet, I have a globe of phenomal friends, and before I'm forty, enough stories to regale my rocking chair bound grand children with for many a cups of tea.
I still in my yearning morning prayers want the house and the chickens and the tomatoes... I also have asked God pretty much every day to give me a nice singing voice... I suspect the the latter will forever illude me, but in regards to the former I ask, Lord... Help me to be satisfied in YOU alone... For you know what is best for me...
No comments:
Post a Comment