A blog of very little importance indeed.

I have wanted to return to blogging for a long while but have wrestled with the age old and cliché dilemma of being unsure of what to write about. I browsed blogs of my younger years brimming with certainty and confidence in my choices and wisdom.

Yet, as I age the easy belief in my wisdom and voice dwindles and I have remained uncertain for a while if I have a voice worth listening to and if it is even worth sharing. I have become aware that over zealous blogs can have the power to crush a striving soul as she offers all she has to her children yet never feels enough. I have discovered that the things I felt so strongly a decade ago cease to hold importance in my life and I have a sense of embarrassment and humility in the face of formerly held assumptions on life blogged on the world of webly wideness.

Perhaps this is a natural progression in the process of maturity and growth of the soul. That youthful zeal has it's place but sometimes leaves wanting in empathy, compassion and the grey. We draw lines in which we must carefully colour thrusting judgement at those whose ink strays beyond the boundaries and rules we have established.

Equally our energetic twenties send us soaring on challenges and adventures with the reckless abandon with which we are incapable of in the later years. In my twenties I was eager to conquer every challenge, move, change and idea that crossed my path and I doubt I would have married a man I was engaged to three weeks after meeting and moved to a different continent for him, in later life, yet it was the single most vital and influential decision in my life.

The one whose fingers meander at the keyboard today is far from the girl who wrote pages a decade before. I am someone who understands more of my human condition. I have a clearer perception of self having felt a greater spectrum of emotions. I still look to the cross for my salvation but I find how I perceive faith and God has evolved in the journey and via the beautiful souls that have imparted their wisdoms on me or challenged my perceptions of love and empathy.

Alas …. the question remains... I yearn to write... and so I meander through my memories reaching for that elusive light bulb moment. So I shall publish this because it is step one. I wrote something. That in itself is an achievement among dishes, dogs, degrees and daily demands of motherhood.